DearSusan,



Just been to the acupuncturist. Paid the therapist, (let's call him David) (because that's his name ) $70 to stick long sharp needles into various parts of my anatomy.



You see I have this problem with my neck and back. It feels like a bar stretching across my shoulders and another one stretching down my spine.I guess it's just the cross I have to bear. Apparently stress and tension only increase the pain. So by the time I get to 'lets call him David' each week I'm pleading for a needle full of morphine. Instead he sticks pins in me like a human voodoo doll. Speaking of which I must get the Ivan doll out and see how it's going.



Anyway, last week when I went to see 'let's call him David' he did the usual pins and needles thing and then his apprentice (or is that term only used for sorcerers) stuck a needle in my belly and proceeded to set it alight. An odour not unlike the smell of sneakers smouldering on top of a pile of burning tyres rose from my tummy.



I've had this treatment before. I remember I looked down at my legs and there was a column of smoke rising from them. I knew I hadn't waxed in a while but this was turning into a small scrub fire. 'Let's call him David' strolled into the room and I asked him politely if spontaneous combustion was imminent. No, apparently it was all ok. So that time I escaped virtually unscathed.



This week however the burning old sneakers on top of the tyres were beginning to smell like burning flesh. Not wanting to cause a fuss, I lay on the table, needles in place, tears running into my ears, my neck and shoulders tensing into rigor mortis and my belly on fire. When 'let's call him David' walked in he said "Oh dear maybe a little blister there for a while.



I like acupuncture. It does cure things; like fear of needles. And I like to think the proceedure is helping, but I'm not sure how.



I lie on a bench in my knickers and cami top.



I let 'let's call him David' stick needles in my fingers, knees, cheeks, spine, head, ankles and belly. Then let him set fire to me



I freeze to death because I'm semi naked and the window is open to gale force winds.



If I try to relax, I slip off the bench and all in all it is a masochistic exercise beyond comprehension.



So why do I keep going back? For attention I guess.



Hope you Adrian Aaron and Caroline are having a great time in the States. Went around to look at your new house the other day and only one tree had fallen on to the garage in that big storm.



Miss you HEAPS



Love



Janet