Dear Susan,







Congrats. Hear you and Adrian are the proud owners of an asbestos lined fibro shack on the edge of Slumville. You must be over the moon! I guess you might miss the 360 degree view of the bay from your old waterfront , double brick, 5 bedroom, swimming pooled mansion. But these tough economic times are causing everyone to downsize. Wish I could bloody downsize to a 22 or a 20. Anyway even Rosie and Calvin had to opt for the 65 inch flat screen plasma instead of adding on a "media room".







Well I went out to the airport on Thursday night to pick up Josie and Tallulah. The plane was coming in at 9.30 so I got there at about 6.45. Well you know what I'm like. I have to be on time. I sat outside the labour ward for six months before Eloise was born.







Anyway airports are a great place to people watch. I like to make up stories about their comings and goings. For example there was this very friendly man in his late thirties pacing up and down waiting for a plane to unload. In my story he was waiting for his wife and 2 kids to come home from their school holidays in Dubbo. As it turned out he was actually greeted by his partner Justin who gave him a big bear hug and an open mouthed kiss that involved a lot of tongue.I wasn't shocked. Just jealous. Justin was a hunk.







I had to go through the security gates and put my bag/phone/bangles/shoes and teeth in the tray.



"It's really quiet tonight" I remarked.



"Ssshhh" was the response from the six security guards who were making me feel less secure by the minute with all their 'ssshhhing.'







Having survived the scan I went to grab my stuff when the man in front of me with the uniform and the badge said "Excuse me madam, this is your lucky day. You fit our profile of a terrorist so well that I just need to run my wand over you"







As you know it's been a long time since I've had an offer like that. I stood trembling with anticipation as he waved some sort of electronic device about six inches away from the surface of my entire body.



"Thanks,"he grinned with a smirk which said it had been good for him. Come to think of it, it was just as I remembered it too. Anticlimactic.







I appreciate your advice on getting my life back on track after Ivan's departure last millenium. But I'm not looking for someone to settle down with, marry and live happily ever after and all that rubbish. All I need is someone to do 'nothing' with occasionally. Of course it wouldn't hurt if he was into casual meaningless sex.







This week I did make a start on my 'get a life project'. I went to one of those stores that have 'furniture to suit your lifestyle'. I asked the salesman if he had a lifestyle to suit my furniture; you know, sort of eclectic , second hand, broken and worn around the edges. Then I realised that is the lifestyle I've got already. I went on an on-line dating service where they match desperate, dateless, ugly, losers, figuring even I might find someone. The Bottom of The Barrel Bachelor Bonking Service matched me up with a 78 year old who was looking for a petite blonde between the ages of 29-37. He was quite up front, admitting to having his own hair and 'tooth' I sent off my reply immediately. Back came his rapid response, "Sorry, am looking for someone young, nearby. attractive, slim, intelligent and amusing. I don't think it would work out between us"







Talk about a blow to one's self esteem. But I'm persevering and will be updating on cyberdating. In the meantime I'm proceeding with my campaign to find a life. Next week I'm taking up lawn bowls.







Hope you and Adrian have a great time in the states. Give a big hug to Aaron and Caroline for me. Don't worry about Alexis. We will get together while you're away and do some macrame.







Love



Janet xx