Don't know if the news has reached Heaven yet but the Earth is undergoing a Pandemic of Toilet Paper shortage. It began when a virus started spreading through China and finally reached Coles and Woolworths in Australia.
Everyone is Pan(dem)ic buying and the supermarket shelves are as empty as my social calendar.
It has become so serious that most of the world has gone into lockdown so everything is closed, except for hairdressing salons and schools, which count as essential services.
Doctors and nurses and those on the frontline have no way of protecting themselves in their dangerous workplaces because they don't have enough masks, latex gloves, hand sanitiser, ventilating machines for their patients. or sleep. They are keeping the world running on compassion and adrenalin.
No flights are allowed to leave or arrive in Austalia unless there are important people on them, like Mr Dutton. However, cruise ships are allowed to dock in Sydney and other ports and expose the country to 2000 potential epidemic terrorists at any time. We managed to turn back boats of desperate, displaced asylum seekers but we couldn't stop a cruise ship full of wined, dined and infected passengers.
Anyway the world's 'leaders' are all giving us advice on how to survive this crisis. Each of the 150 countries affected give us 150 different updates every thirty minutes. I guess it will all work out. I only tune into New Zealand's Prime Minister anyway. She speaks like a real person not like a demented self-serving pollie. The American President does say some excellent, very good, sometimes silly, occasionally ridiculous words but he doesn't say them in any sequence so no one knows what he's talking about.
The main message we are all being given is to STAY AT HOME. Which is sensible for those of us who have one but a bit difficult for the 100,000 Australians who don't.
The self-isolating part of this process can be a bit challenging. I started off ok but after 5 hours I was completely over it. I mean it's ok for Eloise, she has a husband and five kids around her every day to keep her company. Maybe I do have the better deal.
I read two books on the first day without feeling guilty!!! I'm not able to go to the nursing home to visit Beryl because it's in lockdown. Felt a little bit relieved about that but now wondering how she's coping with the isolation.
Before my total imprisonment, Josie and Talullah and Bronwyn came over for dinner a couple of times which was lovely. But in their caring way, they didn't want to put me at risk of exposure because I'm in the 'elderly vulnerable' category. Think they were a little bit relieved about that, as I was about not being able to visit Beryl. There are two thousand and three white tiles on my bathroom floor. and 42 black ones, The black ones are triangular and the white ones are square. I had such high hopes for what I was going to achieve during these three weeks of imposed lockdown.
- Marie Kondo everything
- Sort out the five half-written novels in my desk
- Paint the unit
- Create an exercise circuit in my loungeroom
- Clean the oven.
- Set up a new business venture
- Cook enough meals for winter
- Knit jumpers for all my grandchildren. (They love those)
- Take up a new hobby like fashion design and creation.
- Write letters to people I haven't seen since Tuesday
- Find my perfect match on an online dating site
- Shower
- Read all the books in '1000 Books To Read Before You Die'
- Wash my hair.
- Change the sheets on my bed
- Clean the lint out of the clothes drier
So far I have Googled 'How to Clean Oven Racks without using Chemicals'. I now know how to do it but haven't actually done it yet.
I've done some extreme colouring-in, checked my emails/ phone messages every five minutes because it's the only contact I have with anyone.
I would take the garbage out but that would mean I'd have to get dressed
Last night I thought I might get a kitten to cuddle but then I snapped myself back to reality to realise I didn't have enough TP to toilet train it.
There are a lot more things I could tell you but this lockdown is going to last for the rest of my life, so I'll leave some until tomorrow, or next year.
We are living through a very surreal time down here and I'm wondering if it's Nature's way of telling us to slow down and take care of the things that matter like each other and the planet.
If you run into some experts up there could you please ask them for some advice? We are all a little confused by it down here and many of us are asking for some help from above.
I hope if there is a pandemic up there it's one of joy, laughter, happiness and harmless practical jokes. We need more of those in our lives and our deaths I guess.
As I sit at home alone I think about all the people I love and have loved, and all I know is that I wish that the last time I saw them, I'd hugged them all longer and much tighter.
Love always, and a longer tighter hug
Janet
