Dear
Susan,
Oh my God it's Christmas again. Seems like
only yesterday we were unwrapping our Pedigree bride dolls and racing down to
the shop to show uncle Tom and auntie Joyce. Those times never come again
really do they?
We killed the chook that looked the tenderest
and it was the only chicken we had all year, and as for ham, dad was never fast
enough to catch the pig.
Anyway,
time flies when you're having no fun at all. So, the other day, I had a nip of
Christmas spirit and went to see what was happening in the big realm of retail.
I
needed some extra baubles for the tree. But when I went into Meyer- Jones I
couldn't find any. The lady in black with the clipboard told me the decorating
items were in the ‘home stylist department’.
What a sight met my eyes. The entire home
stylist room was dressed in blue and white! “Oooh” I ventured to the young man
with one hand on his hip and his other one on his chin “Where are the red and
gold Christmas baubles?”
Stanley
turned to me aghast and said “Oh my dear, gold and red are so 1980s; 2015 is
all about Turquoise and Pearl”.
I
looked around and yes, he was right, blue and white. I realized I'd been doing
Christmas all wrong for years. Apparently last year was all about purple and
white. Purple plates, baubles, streamers, earrings and white serviettes and
wrapping paper. In 2013 green and orange were all the go, sort of glad I missed
that year.
I looked around at the table settings in
Meyer- Jones and wondered at how beautiful they looked, plates in place, water
and wine glasses in the right corner all the cutlery lined up according to
courses. Three table decorations in Turquoise and Pearl centred perfectly and
everything matched. I guarantee if I'd gone into the home stylist toilet
department, I would have found the loo roll with alternate Turquoise and Pearl
sheets, with towels, soaps, and toothbrush holders all mirroring the theme for
2015.
I
looked at Stanley and said to him “Look Stanley I can only just afford to
replace each year, the baubles that went to God the year before. This year I
had two red and one gold. My Christmas table is known lovingly by my family as
the St Vinnies Mad Hatters Christmas party. If two plates match the quickest
person has to yell ‘snap’ to get a candy cane.
The glasses range from the one I stole from
the 1956 milk run at school to the wineglass I stole from a function I went to
at a Government House reception which I infiltrated. The table is set with
paper tablecloths, strewn with plastic rubbish out of the 12 for $2 bonbon
packets I got at the $2 shop. There are platters of ham and chicken and pork
and bowls of salad and lots of people chewing laughing and talking. I don't
even think anyone notices that the halls aren't decked with Turquoise and
Pearl. In fact, everyone is having too much fun to notice.”
The
only things missing from the table are a few people that we loved very much.
I
hope that up there wherever you all are, you are celebrating too and
remembering Christmases past.
Oh, and please let Herbie stir the custard.
Merry
Christmas
And
Love
Janet
