Dear Susan,

 Oh my God it's Christmas again. Seems like only yesterday we were unwrapping our Pedigree bride dolls and racing down to the shop to show uncle Tom and auntie Joyce. Those times never come again really do they?

 We killed the chook that looked the tenderest and it was the only chicken we had all year, and as for ham, dad was never fast enough to catch the pig.

Anyway, time flies when you're having no fun at all. So, the other day, I had a nip of Christmas spirit and went to see what was happening in the big realm of retail.

 

I needed some extra baubles for the tree. But when I went into Meyer- Jones I couldn't find any. The lady in black with the clipboard told me the decorating items were in the ‘home stylist department’.

 What a sight met my eyes. The entire home stylist room was dressed in blue and white! “Oooh” I ventured to the young man with one hand on his hip and his other one on his chin “Where are the red and gold Christmas baubles?”

 

Stanley turned to me aghast and said “Oh my dear, gold and red are so 1980s; 2015 is all about Turquoise and Pearl”.

I looked around and yes, he was right, blue and white. I realized I'd been doing Christmas all wrong for years. Apparently last year was all about purple and white. Purple plates, baubles, streamers, earrings and white serviettes and wrapping paper. In 2013 green and orange were all the go, sort of glad I missed that year.

 

 

 I looked around at the table settings in Meyer- Jones and wondered at how beautiful they looked, plates in place, water and wine glasses in the right corner all the cutlery lined up according to courses. Three table decorations in Turquoise and Pearl centred perfectly and everything matched. I guarantee if I'd gone into the home stylist toilet department, I would have found the loo roll with alternate Turquoise and Pearl sheets, with towels, soaps, and toothbrush holders all mirroring the theme for 2015.

 

I looked at Stanley and said to him “Look Stanley I can only just afford to replace each year, the baubles that went to God the year before. This year I had two red and one gold. My Christmas table is known lovingly by my family as the St Vinnies Mad Hatters Christmas party. If two plates match the quickest person has to yell ‘snap’ to get a candy cane.

 The glasses range from the one I stole from the 1956 milk run at school to the wineglass I stole from a function I went to at a Government House reception which I infiltrated. The table is set with paper tablecloths, strewn with plastic rubbish out of the 12 for $2 bonbon packets I got at the $2 shop. There are platters of ham and chicken and pork and bowls of salad and lots of people chewing laughing and talking. I don't even think anyone notices that the halls aren't decked with Turquoise and Pearl. In fact, everyone is having too much fun to notice.”

The only things missing from the table are a few people that we loved very much.

 

 

I hope that up there wherever you all are, you are celebrating too and remembering Christmases past.

 Oh, and please let Herbie stir the custard.

Merry Christmas

And

Love Janet